Accepting defeat, never been easy for most of us. Of course, we want to come out as the winner, since that's the only reasonable cause for us to be in the competition.

Come to think of it, the last time I tried to make peace with myself, looking back to 1, nearly 2 years ago. At that time, I had to know my place and back up from the competition, coming out as, somewhat, a loser. The first few hours or days was painful, but as I gave time to it, turns out it self healed.

I always believe in a mechanism of self heal, abbreviated to DABDA, Denial Anger Bargaining Depression Accepting. Give it a sufficient time for the grief to heal, and you will be back to your old, energetic self.

I know

I know that it isn't even 100 hours yet since the last time we breathe the same air, sharing a plate of cireng, laughed at some random passing guy with weird outfit

I know that we've ever had been walked our own path for 6 years or so

I know that in between the space dimension we are still taking the same exact path ahead

I know that you know what I'm thinking of and dreaming about

I know from the bottom of my heart

That I'm missing you, dear


Velocity 5 km/h

The train started to run, leaving the usual subway I pass during my youth in this town. I still can see the same sign at the corner of the car. "Please give your seat to the elderly, pregnant woman, and disable person", it says. The only different things from then, is the people. There are too many faces unknown to me; I've left the city for too long.

Velocity 15 km/h

You came back from the so-called endless journey of yours. I thought you're an egoist for not giving any news after that day  you left the town. You're an egoist. All you care about is your own self, I started to think you didn't even think even the slightest about me, no? Well, what can I do? As long as you're fulfilled, and know that you have a place to come back when you tired off your soul, I'm all here for you.

Velocity 30 km/h

For every walk I take, there are countless memory carved along the path. Some are sweet, some are bitter than the rest, and some of them, are f…

Journey Beyond the Lands #10: A Quarter Century Review

Ndak kerasa 2017 berakhir "begitu saja". Kenapa dengan "begitu saja"? Karena sepertinya, setahun ke belakang ini sejujurnya nggak ada hal yang cukup epik dan layak dibanggakan.

It's almost like I was on a auto-pilot mode all year long.

Salah satu parameter "kemajuan" buat diri gua, adalah setidaknya ada 1-2 hal yang gua lakukan perdana di tahun itu. Tapi di 2017, hal yang baru pertama kali gua lakukan seumur hidup adalah............ opname. Bikin nangis mama, bikin khawatir keluarga, ngerepotin temen-temen, ngerepotin sensei, skripsi ga maksimal, etc. Oh ya! ternyata gua (akhirnya) lulus ya tahun kemarin. Dan well, saat ini lanjut S2 di kampus dan lab yang sama.

Well, turns out there WAS something I did for the first time!

2017, bisa dibilang tahun yang baaaanyak perdebatan dan pertikaian batin yang terjadi di dalam diri #tsaelah. Salah satunya, lanjut atau tidak S2.
Selama terkapar sekian hari di RS, ditambah kondisi gua yang udah apply beberapa beasi…

Journey Beyond the Lands #9: Opname (part 2)

Well well well, it's been ages since the last time I talked about my health condition, isn't it? Kelamaan ditunda dan..... akhirnya bener-bener lupa sampai mana kelanjutan kisah opname di Jepang (sampek beres lagi pengobatannya).
Sorejya, kita mulai dari situ saja lah (situ mana).